[Forbidden Games] Maria’s Christmas Box


Welcome to the twenty-fifth entry of this column in which I review forbidden (and forgotten) retro games with adult contents.

A lot of the games that will be revisited here will have, as well as adult themes, some contents that may offend somebody. But please remember, we are here just to re-discover something rightfully forgotten, so don’t take it so seriously, we don’want to offend anybody. Just have fun and laugh 🙂

Today’s game is Maria’s Christmas Box.

Many people, well over 30 will probably remember Maria Whittaker. She was one of the most famous “pin-up” models of the UK in the era when Samantha Fox and Sabrina Salerno were the wet dreams of tons of teenagers (but not only teenagers…)

Her killer body, already develeoped when she was 16, made her famous as one of the best Page 3 girls of The Sun in 1985. She became famous in the video games world not for this game (which is really bad) but for starring in the cover art of the video game Barbarian where her breath taking curves were barely covered by a tiny bikini

Which Maria do you prefer? Don’t bother answering, the answer is right anyway…

The developer behind this game is Anco Software and, differently from other developers of questionable games, it has been a name in the developer world. Founded in 1982, after the initial struggle it started to develope well known soccer games such as Five-a-Side Soccer (1985) and Kick-Off (1989), one of the most important soccer games released , as well as managerial games like Player Manager (1990). They published also other adult games like Strip Poker: A Sizzling Game of Chance (1986), port of the original Apple II game believed to be the first strip poker game ever released and Strip Poker II (1988). They also released other “normal” games such as House of Usher (1984) and Space Pilot (1984) as well as the NES port of Elite.

Why is forgotten?

As it frequently happens with video games, especially in the 80s, the obsolescence of the platform drags with it a big slice of games in the oblivion. Especially during an age in which budget titles for cheap home computers were the standard (and sometimes this cheapness is reflected in the quality of the games), it’s easy to forget an endless number of titles. Probably most of the games of the 80s even if released for popular system, like it was the ZX Spectrum are forgotten forever. Games designed specifically “to sell” that hide their cheapness behind the boobs of a pin-up model (who wasn’t famous anymore in the 90s unofrtunately) are the first to be forgotten and this run-of-the-mill card game it the perfect example. And usually card games themselves are easily forgotten: how can you distinguish from the other if you make a card game???

Why is forbidden?

Is this enough for you?

…Or maybe you prefer this?

Why is fun?

There’s nothing fun about poker. Really, unless you don’t win thousand and thousands of *insert here your currency* poker is fun as a bridge match. Poke her would be fund, but not poker (horrible punt intended)

How can I play it?

It’s 2019 A.D. and I’ve never seen it listed online. It’s one of those games that could be che cheap or expensive without a particular reason, but it’s such a fogotten game that nobody has probably ever sold it lately. The only viable oprion would be, of course, emulation.

Something similar but a bit less crappy???

This time I want to suggest something I’ve already covered, because boobs call boobs…

And finally, if you need other games related to this which are crappy and adult oriented like Maria’s Christmas Box, stick around, more games will be covered soon!

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. Good write up of a crappy game!

    Like

  2. redbavon says:

    L’unica cosa b(u)ona di questo videogioco sono le forme della Maria 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. benez256 says:

      Una gran bella Maria…altro che quella di J Ax…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I have not played this game. This game seems very similar to the game featuring Samantha Fox, both games were based on playing poker and used a pin-up model famous in the 1980’s, although this game seems to be a better quality, with colour photos and a better designed display. It seems unusual for a game reviewed in this series to be developed by a well-respected company, although it is interesting that the company was mostly associated with games based on strip poker and football.
    What consoles was this game available on? Is this game better or worse than the one with Samantha Fox? What made the game Christmassy?

    Like

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