[Forbidden Games] X-Man

Welcome to the eleventh entry of this column in which I review forbidden (and forgotten) retro games with adult contents.

A lot of the games that will be revisited here will have, as well as adult themes, some contents that may offend somebody. But please remember, we are here just to re-discover something rightfully forgotten, so don’t take it so seriously, we don’want to offend anybody. Just have fun and laugh 🙂

Today’s game is X-Man and no, it has nothing to do with Marvel’s superheroes…

Back in the 80s X-Men, Marvel and all related stuff were still “nerd stuff”, not the mainstream cash machine they are today, so the name X-Men probably relies less than what we thought on the fortunate comic books. X-Men related or not, in 1983 out of the turmoil of the video game crash, Universal Gamex Corporation tried to gain its slice of the shrinking gaming cake with a fistful of titles, of which we remember (?) Airlock, Joyrney Escape and Frankenstein’s Monster.

Among the games released, X-Man was, of course, the X-rated one. The concept is very simple, since in this game the developers tried to ape Pac-Man, a game that, despite its enormous arcade success was one of the worst commercial failures of all time when it was ported on the Atari 2600, leading the company and part of the gaming market into the crash. For this reason probably it wasn’t a good idea having as a model a failed game.

Why is forgotten?

The turmoil of the video games crash joint with the limited distibution of this game both fot its contents and for the company behind its realization sent this opera to the oblivion and it is now subject for hardcore completionist collectors. The game was also forgotten because it was “less famous” of the shameful Custer’s Revenge, the scapegoat among the adult games of the Atari 2600.

Why is forbidden?

As it was for Custer’s Revenge, even X-Men was widely criticized, especially from women since the only female character in the game is a naked trophy-woman, the reward for the protagonist after completing a successful stage. Of course the only way he can celebrate his victory over rattling teeth and crazy scissors is to fuck the allegedly consensual woman. And no, it wasn’t enough to appease the furious protesters that the only way the protagonist has to proceed over with the game is to satisfy “his” woman…

But most of all, what the hell is the Atari version of Daisy Duke doing on the box art of the game along with the dumb brother of Gerald Ford who’s just been fingered by a proctologist?

Why is fun?

Pac-Man can become boring after a while. Always the same maze, always the same ghosts. But not X-Man! Because from time to time we have a fucking interlude! And I don’t say fucking because it’s a bad one but because someone is actually having an intercourse with an hyper-pixellated woman! I guess if that was really exciting back then…

How can I play it?

The only viable way in 2018 is emulation. You can even play it in your browser at Archive.org if you want (following this link). Otherwise if you’re crazy enough to cough up a few thousand dollars/euros/pounds you can fint if sometimes on eBay. Please nothe that in this last case you can be described as a clinical case and you should visit a doctor 🙂

Something similar but a bit less crappy???

This time I want to suggest you some rather good games, at least better than the ones I indicate all the times:

  • Lock ‘n’ Chase: a Pac-Man clone released in the arcades in 1981 that also graced the Atari 2600 as well as the Intellivision;
  • K.C. Munchkin!, the Odyssey² version of Pac-Man
  • 3D Monster Maze, probably ther best game ever released for the ZX81. Not a Pac-Man clone actually but a maze game that, in its own small way made history;

And finally, if you need other games related to this which are crappy and adult oriented like X-Man, stick around, more games will be covered soon!

Follow I ❤ Old Games on Facebook!

4 Comments Add yours

  1. I don’t think I’d want to play a porn game involving teeth and scissors trying to attack my dick

    Liked by 2 people

  2. thedeviot says:

    Pretty much all of the Adult games on the VCS were pretty bad. But completionists out there want them so they can boast having every commercially made cartridge in their collection. Other collectors will get them out of morbid curiosity, or for the rarity. These days a lot of people who weren’t around back then also fail to realize that none of these had wide distribution. They were largely mail order, and the few stores that had them were usually the same stores that sold the adult VHS tapes. Ergo; you weren’t finding a copy at Sears, or Toys R’ Us. Hell, most of us who were kids in the 80’s didn’t even find out about them until the late 90’s.

    Anyway, this was another nice article about another one of these titles.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have not played this game. This game seems to have some strange ideas, particularly the use of scissors, crabs and teeth in a maze. It also seems to be another example of an obscure games company releasing an erotic game (despite the fact that these games would probably have a limited market and not make much profit). It also seems weird that this game would be an erotic version of Pac-Man (which seems to be a very surreal game) because the actual sex in this game seems to be added in and not necessary. I also enjoyed the descriptions of the character designs.
    What are the functions of the crabs, teeth and scissors?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.