Welcome to the sixth entry of this column in which I review forbidden (and forgotten) retro games with adult contents.
A lot of the games that will be revisited here will have, as well as adult themes, some contents that may offend somebody. But please remember, we are here just to re-discover something
rightfully forgotten, so don’t take it so seriously, we don’want to offend anybody. Just have fun and laugh 🙂
Today’s game is a…I don’t really know what kind of genre belongs to this game but is Custer’s Revenge.
Why is forgotten?
This is one of the cases in which 1983 video game crash has been positive. After a few months from the release the market collapsed, the games were sold in the bargain bins ans soon after a lot of people started to lose interest in video games, at least for the consoles. Is also forgotten because at the release it’s price tag was simply ridiculous: 49,95$, something like more than today’s 100$ (they said to avoid children to buy it with the small tips they collected from parents and relatives…). The result was that the game has been sold in a very limited amount, even because it was immediately criticized and censored. The retailers didn’t place the game together with all the other ones for the 2600 but it was kept hidden to the eye, like something to be shamed of (and it was). It was like when you know a shop sells illegal fireworks and you want them but you don’t know if you can ask for them and with which words…
Why is forbidden?
Oh, seriously you want to know why is forbidden? Ok, let’s have a look how many categories of people a game like this may offend:
- Army. You don’t want to joke with the army, isn’t it? try to mess with a general and mock him like they did in this game and you’ll get a free ticket to the filthiest dump in the farthest nation you can imagine. Probably one you don’t even know the name. Probably run by a dictator and permanently at war.
- american history. Probably Custer is not the cutest and most gentle person in american history but in the USA can be quite nationalist when you touch one of their symbols.
- native americans. It’s like addin insult to injury. They were exterminated and now they’re fooled.
- women, all of them. This doesn’t need any explanation, right? A woman tied to a pole waiting to get raped? Beside being illegal I think this may offend like 432986 kind on women association. Probably even laces producers…
- intelligence of the people. Let’s face it, this is a relaly stupid game.
Is it enough?
Why is fun?
Gosh…fun is maybe too much. Let’s say is strange, VERY strange. The game box itself is already fun for the contrapposition of the good looking and well-drawn native american and the caricature of a drooling and desperate for sex General Custer. Is also funny to see Custer with an horsy erection running to the poor girl. It’s stupid, it’s offensive. But it’s ridiculously funny…
How can I play it?
Even if just the idea of someone wiulling to try Custer’s Revenge is quite bizarre, this is one of the times that the emulation comes as a blessing. If you are a tru purist, and you have to be a really really true purist – or a fool – if you want to have this piece in your collection, prepare yourself to spend around 100€ for a CIB version of the game or more than 50€ for the cartridge alone. I’ve never seen this game sold in Europe on eBay or similar sites and all the copies I’ve found are american, therefore for me is impossible to buy it, since shipping and import taxes are together higher than the price of the game.
Wanna know something sad? Look here
Yes, they made a remake…
Something similar but a bit less crappy???
Really you want something similar to this? Honestly I don’t really know what kind of game I should suggest because no game is even comparable to this, so the nonsense level in the suggestions is tremendously high. So let’s go with:
- The Oregon Trail, just because it was set during the mid-800, the same period when Custer served the Army;
- Starmaster, because is from 1982 as well;
- Superman 64, because is a really awful game;
And finally, if you need other games related to this which are crappy and adult oriented like Custer’s Revenge, stick around, more games will be covered soon!