Welcome to the first entry of this brand new column in which I revisit forbidden (and forgotten) retro games with adult contents.
A lot of the games that will be revisited here will have, as well as adult themes, some contents that may offend somebody. But please remember, we are here just to re-discover something
rightfully forgotten, so don’t take it so seriously, we don’want to offend anybody. Just have fun and laugh 🙂
Today’s game is a text adventure I discovered reading Retro Gamer issue #169, The Farmer’s Daughter, a game the mag awarded with the “Retro Stinker”. That says all.
This is a quirky and forgotten text adventure released in 1983 by Nocturnal Software originally for the C64. The game today is almost impossible to find, or at least I’ve found no traces of it online and at first it looks like a straightfoward interactive fiction. Talking about interactive fiction we use to think to games like Zork, probably the best game of its genre, the out-of-the-box A Mind Forever Voyaging or Adventure, the grand grandfather of all these games.
But The Farmer’s Daughter is something different, for its contents being orintend to an adult audience. The plot involves a lighting rods (…) salesman whos car breaks down in front of a farmer house where he’s welcomed by the astonishingly hot farmer’s daughter; immediately his brain shuts off and his body (or better his lighting rod) takes things in hand and his goal won’t be finding someone who can repair his car anymore, but trying to put his you-know-what into the farmer’s daughter you-know-where.
In doing this he has to be very careful because behind every single move hides a potential dangerous if not deadly situation: the farmer is not so willing to help him, neither are the hyper-sexualized farmer’s sons, more interested in his ass than in anything else. A menacing dog complete the set of major perils he has to face.
Why is forgotten?
Isn’t it a stupid question? 🙂 The Farmer’s Daughter never became popular and searching online it looks like nobody has it or has played it. For its despicable contents, even though no explicit images are ever shown, the game quickly fell into the oblivion and no one ever missed it. No one but me! 🙂
Why is forbidden?
Isn’t it another stupid question??? 🙂 🙂 🙂 The game, even if is filled with humour is always based on the attempt of a salesman to f**k a girl and uses a lot of vulgar terminology, especially when it comes to the (fgrequent) fails caused most likely to the farmer’s sons that swap the protagonist butt for a inflatable doll. In my honest opinion the DOS version looks a bit more censored in some points. A major example is the first encounter with the farmer’s daugher who’s described in the DOS version as an hot girl with poking nipples and in the C64 verision as a willing 16 years old hot girl with poking nipples. Maybe a bit too racy and illegal…
Why is fun?
It’s like reading those shitty adult novels but with a lot more irony and comic situations and plus the possibility to interact with the story. It’s fun because this game turns around the old cliché of the nimphomaniac farmer’s daughter, exploted a lot of times in the cinema (maybe if you’ve ever watched 1975 Russ Meyer’s movie Supervixens yo know what I’m talkin about…god bless Uschi Digaard 🙂 ), but, as I know, not so frequently in video games. And then c’mon writing to a parser in order to obtain the sexual favours of a lecherous teenager it’s oddly fun!
How can I play it?
I’m a proud owner of a C64C but, as I told you, the game is almost impossible to find or maybe nobody is willing to sell it. A DOS version has been released although with some slightly differences in the texts. If you’re not a purist you can easily find an emulated version that runs perfectly with DOSBox.
Something similar but a bit less crappy???
Well, the world is full of interactive fiction. This kind of game, born at the dawn of computers, features thousand and thousand of games with some highly remarkable titles. The interactive fiction genre was slowly abandoned in favour of pseudo-interactive fiction games with a small room for graphics (like Adventure for the Apple II or The Hobbit) and later for point-ancd-click adventures.
However I’d like to cite three games in the bunch on interactive fiction:
- Colossal Cave Adventure, the forerunner of the genre, released in 1976 for PDP-10 (!!!) that defined the style of these kind of games ias is like a grandfather of rogue games and other adventure-based titles
- Zork (the original) a wonderful adventure that every human being should play at least one in life with a sophisticated parser, highly interactive settings and some “rogue” atmosphere typical of some dungeon-ish games of the 80s
- A Mind Forever Voyaging a very paricular but enjoyable pseudo-politics-game based more on the plot and the on the narration rather than on puzzles. Even this one was released by Infocom, a real institution in the field of interactive fictions.
A special mention to Avventura nel Castello, created by italian Enrico Colombini, and first game of the genre ever released in our language, which came out in 1982 for Apple II.
And finally, if you need other games related to this which is crappy and adult oriented like The Farmer’s Daughter, stick around, more games will be covered soon!